I am so very good at procrastinating. I always have been. In college, I’d convince myself that the best way for me to remember things was to cram it all in my brain right before a test rather than methodically studying, doing a little each day—like I tell my kids now. I suppose it means I’ve learned from my bad habits, but I can’t say I have changed them. Well, not completely, anyway.

Maybe the fact that I’m aware of this tendency shows a semblance of growth, but I am always surprised at just how clean I can get my house when I only have a couple of hours before company comes over. Come on now. Am I really alone in that scenario?

I don’t know about you, but there are things that I want—okay, maybe the right word here is need—to get done, but I put them off. By the things that are easier. The things that can get done faster. The things that will lead me to that dopamine hit that can only come from the act of taking pen to paper and drawing that horizontal line through an item on my list. 

And, honestly, now that I am coming back to this article over a week later, I am realizing there’s another element to my procrastination. I put the things that make life easier for others before I do the things that are just for me. 

But, here’s the truth. Does doing the easy thing and crossing it off the list really feel better than completing the bigger task that takes longer? Maybe yes, but more likely no. Because seeing that item that carries over day after day carries a weight that takes away from the lightness of doing ten other easy things.

So, what’s the solution for this? Well, I’m not entirely sure. I recently recommended to a friend that relocating away from the other distractions may help. Like heading to a coffee shop and not leaving until that one item is done. That idea works for things that can be done while sitting at a coffee shop drinking a hot chai tea latte, anyway. 

Like my writing. 

For which I’m a queen at procrastinating. You see, I’ll opt to knock out a load or two of laundry, or unload the dishwasher, or vacuum the house before I sit down to write. And sometimes I get caught up in the latest book I’m reading and just want to read 10% more. And then another 10%, and then….

Why? It’s not because I find any of these other things more fun—other than the reading—than writing, but perhaps I find them easier. They take less thought. Much less focus. And I can get lost in a podcast (or, let’s be honest, a Hallmark Christmas movie) while doing them. Okay, again, not with the reading. But, you get the point. I can get lost in some alternate reality, which is fun.

And less vulnerable.

I can’t tell you how many times I have sat down to write and have convinced myself what I was writing wasn’t good enough to finish, or wasn’t good enough for someone else to read. But, I have also reminded myself that this is what makes my writing real. It’s what makes it honest. And relatable.

So, here I go, setting the Kindle aside and pushing pause on the podcast so I can stop and write again. To get my juices flowing so I can deliver on my promise to share with you my musings, whether it’s from my porch swing (it’s a little chilly out there at the moment), or from a table at the local coffee shop, or even from the comfort of my bed. 

Perhaps I’ll go back to those other half-written blogs I’ve started and finish them for you. (Hold me to it, okay?) Because it’s my dream to write something that will inspire someone. Something that will resonate with someone enough to share it with a loved one. Something that will touch the heart of someone at just the right time.

But I can’t do that if I don’t stop and write.

Now that I think about it, maybe writing really is a win-win. It is something I can do to inspire or entertain others, and, at the same time, it is something I can do to nurture my own heart. 

I think that’s something I can get behind.